Pride

I was reading Benjamin Franklin's autobiography for my American Literature class and came across this quote...I find it to be true nearly every day of the week.

"In reality there is perhaps no one of our natural Passions so hard to subdue as Pride.  Disguise it, struggle with it, beat it down, stifle it, mortify it as much as one pleases, it is still alive, and will every now and then peep out and show itself.  You will see it perhaps often in [your story]. For even if I could conceive that I had completely overcome it, I should probably be proud of my Humility."

Acquiring the virtue of Humility is something that I will constantly strive for....but it's comforting to know that even Franklin couldn't quite get it right.  In his list of 13 Virtues he defines Humility with a simple phrase: "Imitate Jesus and Socrates".

This ideal of perfect humility may be impossible, but I would rather spend my life striving for that then live in the unhappiness of desperate vanity.

"Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders.  Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for 'God oppose the proud but gives grace to the humble.'

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you."

1 Peter 5:5-7

You don't have to exhalt yourself.  You just have to trust that God will.

The Wind in the Trees

This morning I was overwhelmed by how awesome the world is.  As I walked to class I felt the wind blow and saw the sun shine and wondered how anyone could doubt that an immortal, all-powerful God  made this Earth.  The emotion I felt more than any other was love.  I felt loved by the Savior.  The following words seem to sum up my emotions:

The Lord caresses me,
With the wind in the trees.
Sun seeps through
And I hear the Creator say,
"This beauty is my gift to you"

How could I find joy in any other thing,
Then living in fulfillment only the Savior can bring?

The greatest artist composes a song,
Of the whistling willows,
As I walk along.

His love bustles through the trees,
And ripples in the breeze,
I hear him say,
"You belong to me"

How could I find joy in any other thing,
Then living in fulfillment only the Savior can bring?

Redeemed

Exactly three years ago, I came to my freshman orientation at the University of Texas at Austin.  I was dead set on having the time of my life and doing things that I knew would prove to everyone in my home town that I was not perfect.  So, I spent a majority of the week in fraternity houses with people I hardly knew drinking a lot of alcohol.  I made a ton of decisions I soon regretted and did things I told myself I would never do.  In anger, I broke my reputation with those that looked up to me and ran from God.
After an eight month struggle, I finally returned to God's grace and stopped looking for the approval of other people.  I stopped getting drunk and learned that the Lord cherished who I was in my rawest form.  That even on my lowest nights, sacrificing my integrity, God loved me.  I saw that his love was unconditional and didn't have to be earned.  There were many moments in which I stood in confrontation with God and was forced to accept his love for me and change because of it.  These moments are all stories in themselves and will have to be explored at another time, but what I can say now is this-the All Powerful God has changed my life.
Today, I stood on UT's campus asking incoming freshman at orientation if they wanted to come to a Bible study with me.  Exactly three years ago, going to a Bible study at orientation was the last thing on my mind.  Now, I am completely full of joy at the work God has done in me and I hope to bring others closer to Him as they start college.  Even when I ran from Him, He called me back and has honored me with a chance to be a part of His work in others.  His love is something that I am unable to escape and I am so happy for that.

To those freshman visiting any college's campus this summer, you are valuable to God.  You don't have to sacrifice who you are to make friends or get approval.  The God of EVERYTHING is in love WITH YOU!  Allow Him to love you and know His love is better than anything anyone can offer you.

What must we do? What will we get?

Many days my mind only reaches as far as what is scheduled in the next few hours.  I have extreme difficulty thinking about life in its grandest since.  It is a frightening thing to allow yourself to believe that what is happening presently does not hold the slightest bit of significance in the scope of your entire lifetime.  That all of your efforts for overcoming the latest obstacles may never be remembered fifty years later.
Jesus' disciples faced these fears about eternity.  Having given up their entire lives to follow a man promising to get them into heaven, they wanted to understand the logistics of this arrangement.  What must one do to obtain a place in eternity?  What do we get once get there?  After trying to figure this out among themselves by analyzing Jesus' parables, they finally just ask him:

" "Who in the world can be saved?"

Jesus look at them intently and said, "Humanly speaking, it is impossible.  But with God everything is possible." " Matthew 19:25-26, NLT

This response was shocking to his most trusted followers.  Heaven is impossible.   We are unable to achieve admission.  These guys had given everything single thing they had to try to achieve the unachievable.  You see we don't have to try.  Our going to heaven is not at all dependent on how hard we try to get there.  Our efforts do not matter.  
What does matter is that someone else has already works out the logistics.  Jesus lived a perfect life, died our death for us and rose again to rule in heaven alongside his father.  Jesus did it for us because we could not do it for ourselves.  The reason we cannot secure our own salvation is because we are not God.  How could we possibly think that in someway we could work our way into heaven?  As if we've got a high enough standing in some hierarchy of eternity in which God allows a few small people to ignore his gift of perfect, beautiful salvation and create our own.  Without the resurrection of Jesus Christ, "humanly speaking it is impossible".  But with God's power and mercy, can experience eternity with our Savior and our King.

But the disciples want to know more of the details.  

"Then Peter said to him, "We've given up everything to follow you.  What will we get?" " (vs. 27)

Oh Peter...always the one who seems to ignore all barriers of social awkwardness says to the Son of the Creator of the Universe-who is about to sacrifice his life so he can GO TO HEAVEN-what's in it for me?  Classic.

Jesus answers with grace and in great detail in vs. 28-30

"I assure you that when the world is made new again and the Son of Man sits upon his glorious throne, you who have been my followers will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel.  And everyone who has given up houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or property for my sake, will receive a hundred times as much in return and will inherit eternal life.  But many who are the greatest now will be least important then, and those who seem least important will be the greatest then"

So, sacrificing your life for his glory seems kind of worth it, huh?  By sacrificing your life I simply mean to put the goals and purposes of God above your own.  That doesn't get you into Heaven, but it brings you much more satisfaction then achieving your own goals would.  Getting into Heaven is not a matter of earning God's favor by doing good things.  You just have to belief in and depend on Him instead of yourself or others.  In God's eyes, greatness or success on Earth is meaningless.  Giving Him all attention and glory is everything.  The Lord knows that depending on Him can be a difficult, terrifying task and that you may have to turn away from things you give great value to so that you may better pursue Him....but God rewards those who live in abandonment of the world and acceptance of eternity.  

Every day I understand more that thinking in the terms of eternity and closeness with God is what I am created to do.  Anything other than that brings great confusion and anxiety.  The Lord is my salvation.  He is my reason for breathing.  My heart is created to yearn for Him above all others.  With that, I find peace to make it through the tasks of this life with a joy only He can supply.

Where did Jenny go?

Once again, I must say that my blogging heart rate has plummeted to a code blue over the past six months and it is time for a miracle to bring it back to life....and so, I propose a goal:

ONE BLOG PER WEEK ALL SUMMER: MAY TO AUGUST.  Hold me to it.

A lot has happened since I last shared with the cyber world the happenings of my life.  A brief recap:

-I took a break from choir this semester and it was fabulous.
-My roommates bought me a pinata for my 21st birthday because they are the coolest people I know.
-The annual 35-day journey came and went and God has changed my life once more and I love him more today then I did six months ago which is what gives me hope and peace.
-I have finally acquired my sewing machine and have commenced the every-three-years-convince-yourself-you-can-sew routine.
-I sang my Junior Vocal Performance Recital in April and am officially done getting graded for solo singing.
-I decided that I will graduate college in 4 years rather than 5, so this time next year, I will be trying on my cap and gown.
-Due to this decision, I have enrolled in 13 hours this summer.
-Gossip Girl has taken over my Netflix viewing....disappointed in myself, but the drama is so absurd that I'm addicted.
-My love for elementary children has grown immensely along with my neutral to negative view of middle schoolers.
-My parents have put the house we lived in for 20 years on the market-currently excited but sad about it.
-My older brother STARRED as an extra FBI cop actor in the NYC TV show "White Collar"
-I bought a lawn mower and planted flowers in my flower bed.


More details in next weeks blog.  Until then, enjoy the sunshine.  This is my absolute favorite time of year.